185

185 pages. 185 pages of glory. My dissertation has been turned in! The biggest weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have not felt this happy since the day of my post-doc interview in San Francisco. I had an amazing day. Turned in my thesis, had a great science lunch/meeting with a colleague to discuss her research. Apparently she's making me an author on her paper for my intellectual contributions! We then went next door to a favorite Biochem hang-out called The Library Bar and had a couple of beers after the meeting. Followed by a delicious dinner at Ha Long Bay with some friends, courtesy of an old buddy in Texas (who literally called into the restaurant leaving an open tab for us!).

All I want to do now is paint my nails, watch some trashy TV and hit the sack. I have not slept well in a really long time. 9 days until the defense.

Hello, World

NY Times slide show on "Why We Travel"

Inspiration is everywhere. Gives me so much excitement and joy. We've only one one life to live, and only a few decades to do it. I don't wanna waste a moment.

Update: one more inspiring travel blog about a couple that drop kicked their comfortable life for the unknown and traveling the world.

An end to a beautiful story, and a wonderful new beginning

February has been a rough month. Three days ago, my boyfriend and I ended our relationship of over 5 years. In 3 days, I will be turning in my written Ph.D. thesis, a 200 page book on my research here at Wisconsin. Timing has not been my forte as of late. Many of my family, friends and acquaintances are probably shocked with news of the break up...and I don't blame you, it probably seems sudden to you all. But for me and him, I think we both knew that it was coming, sooner or later. We are not the type to air our dirty laundry, so we have not shared with our family and friends all the details of our relationship throughout the years. It's not easy to talk about it with anyone, and I don't feel any obligation to explain the dynamics or summarize our relationship in 5 minutes to convince you that we've made the right decision. I will not talk about it, at least not yet, so please don't ask me to. The only thing I will say is that we both want different things in the near future and in our lives. He's ready to settle down, and I am not. At this point in my life, I am not comfortable saying that I am done exploring, to settle down and start a family. In fact, as my Ph.D. comes to a close, all I can see is a giant door with bigger discoveries and adventures ahead urging me to walk through. Call me a free spirit, call me a gypsy soul, call me an unrealistic dreamer -- I can't lie to myself or deny who I am and what I want out of my own life. It's been a beautiful ride, a wonderful, loving relationship. I am proud of what we have accomplished and taught each other throughout the years.

With that said, I am starting a new chapter in my life. In 3 days, I will turn in my written thesis, and a week and a half after that, I will be defending my Ph.D.. Immediately after my defense, I am traveling to Singapore and Bali to be with my family --courtesy of my wonderfully generous cousins. I will be there for two weeks. God knows I will be needing some TLC and R&R at that point and being with my family will be the perfect remedy. After that, I will have a few days in Madison to wrap up the last few years of my life, and move to San Francisco to start a new life.

In light of recent events and self-honesty, I have decided to make a new goal for myself. For the next 5 years, I am going to go see and experience the world. Due to the demand I will have at my post-doc job, I will have very limited opportunities (and money) to travel. However, I am going to make it a goal to go away twice a year for the next 5 years, even if it's for just 10 days or two weeks. Each time I travel, I will go to a new country, learn and experience that culture to the best of my ability. In order to do this, I will settle for a smaller, less nice place to live, and cut back on how much I spend eating out (especially in San Francisco). I will save money and I will keep myself detached, so I can wander the world before I am no longer able to.

I will use this blog to keep my family and friends updated on this major transition in my life from my bittersweet departure from beautiful Madison, Wisconsin, to my new life in San Francisco, California, to the journeys upon which I will embark.

Wish me luck and lots of rich experiences.

Zac Brown Band - Colder Weather

Heartbreak

How many major heartbreaks can one endure in a lifetime?

How many hearts can one break before one's own heart rots from all the pain one has caused?

Purpose

With this new year comes some major life changes for me and the thought of everything I need to do is causing me some serious insomnia. The insomnia leads to major headaches and grogginess that are impeding my functionality. Those who know me know that I am a great sleeper, and am typically very laid-back and (mostly) stress-free. Well, I am currently none of the above. So, I have decided to revisit an effective strategy I have so often used in the past --put my thoughts and all my worries onto "paper" so I can free my mind and actually get some sleep and work done! I also hope that I will keep up with this blog as I pick up my life in Madison, move back to California to start my life as a post-doctoral fellow at UC San Francisco and be back with my boyfriend who has endured 4.5 years of excruciating long distance to be with me. He and I have been waiting a long time for this moment, and hopefully this blog will allow our friends to keep up with us as we begin this significant stage in starting our life together.

So what's been keeping me up at night? In exactly 2 months, I will be defending my Ph.D. dissertation in Biochemistry at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. What does this mean? Well, I have to finish up some experiments, write a ~200 page book that showcases my research the last 4.5 years (called a thesis), and defend my scientific results to my department and 5 faculty committee members who will ultimately decide if I get to have my degree. On top of all that, I am preparing to move half-way across the country to San Francisco to beginning the next stage of my professional career --a post-doctoral position in a developmental biology lab at the University of California - San Francisco where I will use my biochemistry training and "expertise" to research translation regulation in mammals. This is a huge transition from my current research on homologous DNA repair in bacteria. With such a dramatic shift comes a steep learning curve, resilience and persistence --all of which I must be ready for. In the meantime, I must also find someone to take over my lease here in Madison, find a new place to live in San Francisco, and figure out whether I want to ship all my belongings here to SF, or sell/give away everything and buy all new stuff when I am in SF...and how am I supposed to afford any of the above??

And what's with all these wrinkles and enormous pores on my face, and saggy eye lids? I know I am getting older, but geez, did the symptoms have to come so quickly? This Ph.D. business has aged me quite a bit, and I don't like it. Time to up the self-maintenance...but only after the defense. Priorities.

Oh, and did I mention that my eczema is out of control? I bought some concealer to hide the massive bags under my eyes ...my eyes are now weighed down by red eczemic bags.

With all the changes comes excitement of a new beginning. Can't wait to start this new chapter of my life.