An end to a beautiful story, and a wonderful new beginning

February has been a rough month. Three days ago, my boyfriend and I ended our relationship of over 5 years. In 3 days, I will be turning in my written Ph.D. thesis, a 200 page book on my research here at Wisconsin. Timing has not been my forte as of late. Many of my family, friends and acquaintances are probably shocked with news of the break up...and I don't blame you, it probably seems sudden to you all. But for me and him, I think we both knew that it was coming, sooner or later. We are not the type to air our dirty laundry, so we have not shared with our family and friends all the details of our relationship throughout the years. It's not easy to talk about it with anyone, and I don't feel any obligation to explain the dynamics or summarize our relationship in 5 minutes to convince you that we've made the right decision. I will not talk about it, at least not yet, so please don't ask me to. The only thing I will say is that we both want different things in the near future and in our lives. He's ready to settle down, and I am not. At this point in my life, I am not comfortable saying that I am done exploring, to settle down and start a family. In fact, as my Ph.D. comes to a close, all I can see is a giant door with bigger discoveries and adventures ahead urging me to walk through. Call me a free spirit, call me a gypsy soul, call me an unrealistic dreamer -- I can't lie to myself or deny who I am and what I want out of my own life. It's been a beautiful ride, a wonderful, loving relationship. I am proud of what we have accomplished and taught each other throughout the years.

With that said, I am starting a new chapter in my life. In 3 days, I will turn in my written thesis, and a week and a half after that, I will be defending my Ph.D.. Immediately after my defense, I am traveling to Singapore and Bali to be with my family --courtesy of my wonderfully generous cousins. I will be there for two weeks. God knows I will be needing some TLC and R&R at that point and being with my family will be the perfect remedy. After that, I will have a few days in Madison to wrap up the last few years of my life, and move to San Francisco to start a new life.

In light of recent events and self-honesty, I have decided to make a new goal for myself. For the next 5 years, I am going to go see and experience the world. Due to the demand I will have at my post-doc job, I will have very limited opportunities (and money) to travel. However, I am going to make it a goal to go away twice a year for the next 5 years, even if it's for just 10 days or two weeks. Each time I travel, I will go to a new country, learn and experience that culture to the best of my ability. In order to do this, I will settle for a smaller, less nice place to live, and cut back on how much I spend eating out (especially in San Francisco). I will save money and I will keep myself detached, so I can wander the world before I am no longer able to.

I will use this blog to keep my family and friends updated on this major transition in my life from my bittersweet departure from beautiful Madison, Wisconsin, to my new life in San Francisco, California, to the journeys upon which I will embark.

Wish me luck and lots of rich experiences.

Zac Brown Band - Colder Weather